Dear Kelly,
I'm done. I'm tired. I just can't live like this anymore. There is just so much stuff around me and it makes me so upset because I can never find anything I want or need. My kids are always busy and demanding of my full attention. My husband is so distant anymore and I feel like I am climbing a landslide to get back to him. My list of things to do is overwhelming. If I could just get caught up, I would feel so much better.
Everyday, I feel like I'm yelling internally to be saved and it's so hard to breathe anymore. I know my marriage would be healthier with less mess. My friends don't come over because I am always "too busy." The truth is that I don't want them to see how I have been living. I am so embarrassed and ashamed that I let it get to this point. My kids can't have playdates here and they ask me ALL THE TIME. But I have to say "No." It hurts me because they are missing out on such a simple part of childhood experiences. And it's all because of this clutter. I just feel lost and unheard. I am always exhausted and no matter how much I clean, it literally looks like I have done nothing all day. It makes me angry. I have been struggling with my weight as well as my depression and anxiety. How can I pull myself out of this? I am too overwhelmed to think it out on my own at this point.
I just feel sad. These items just seem to accumulate and the more stuff I bring in, the more emotionally and mentally anxious I become. Shopping makes me happy. But there is too much here. I'm missing my life because I am constantly trying to get a handle on this disaster I have made. I miss deadlines for my kids and family functions because I lose the papers. I just toss them into boxes or bags to get to it at another time but I never do. I feel really bad getting rid of certain things because they were gifts or sentimental. When I do talk to others, they always have the same advice. "Just get rid of it." But that GUTS me to hear, let alone do. I don't want this anymore.
Signed,
An Overwhelmed, Under-appreciated, TIRED mom
Dear Brave Mom,
You are really handling things like a strong, passionate woman. I know it doesn't feel that way, but it's true! I want you to imagine what your life would become if you didn't have this amount of clutter. Take a pen to paper and write down all you are picturing. How are you feeling when you think about it. What experiences you and your family would have?
To make this less overwhelming, because I hear you and I understand, let's take this in sections. You can ABSOLUTELY do this but sometimes it is just easier to take it in smaller bites! The first thing to understand is that you are truly worth this transformation. YOU deserve the life you just imagined. Your family deserves the best version of you and lifting this weight off your shoulders will bring you back to yourself and the ones you love. So everyday, remind yourself of how incredible you really are! Second thing you need to know to make this process less painful is that Depression and Anxiety are very common but they are very different in each person, so be extra kind to yourself. It will absolutely go hand in hand, as you declutter, your emotions are going to go up and down but in the long run you will feel truly calmer and happier. I am creating printable sheets that will accommodate the structure in which to tackle this step by step but I really want to give you a head start on beginning! Why? Because you are worth it of course!
Know that this is not easy at first but it WILL become easier and ......might I say........FUN?! I know! That sounds hard to believe right now, but it really does become almost like a game!
Get a garbage bag and start with picking up the ACTUAL garbage. This will start a nice dent in your project. Play some loud and fun music and run around your house with the bag while filling it. You can even give yourself a timeframe so you are racing against the clock! 10 minutes to run around and get garbage together. As soon as the bag(s) is filled, bring it outside! Do not let it sit in your house. This is a great time to load your dishwasher and start it if you have one. If you hand wash, save this step for later. This is about getting a healthy dent in your daily stresses! Next, get a laundry basket and put kids toys in it. Again, you can set your timer. As soon as the basket is full (Yep! This may take a few fills! But that is perfectly okay!) put the toys in the rooms they belong. If those rooms are clean and the way you like them, put the items where they go right away. If not, create an area in that room for when you DO get back into that space. Next, if there is random laundry everywhere.... (I get it! I don't judge! My kids take their clothes off all over the house and to be honest, I'm a bra and pants off at the door person! Haha, No same there! Let's just keep the floor clear in the process) Okay, If there is laundry all over, run around and fill the laundry basket then bring the dirty laundry to the washer and dryer. Is the washer empty? Toss it in :)
At this point, my Brave Mama, YOU just did the garbage, dishes, toys and laundry in record time! Is there more to do? Of course! But this is getting it going! Are you dancing? Are you moving around and feeling good? You are one step closer to that image of how your life WILL be once we tackle this clutter together.
Something that many people do not realize is that when you are dealing with physical clutter, it trickles down. It will impact your emotions, mentality, spirituality and your physical being. It is actually scientifically proven that the more clutter you have, the harder it is to lose weight. It all boils down to your emotional state. Keep your focus on how you see yourself truly living instead of what is in your face right now. You will get there and you will breathe easier. Your family will be closer. You will have the time to create the life you want and deserve. You have a friend to help you (Thats me!) Know you are loved and not alone! I will get those printable sheets up ASAP!
Your friend,
Kelly Morgan